Blog Posts

Blog Posts

Listen to my new episode Bullying?! What does it mean to you? at http://tobtr.com/s/10667859. #BlogTalkRadio

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Listen to my new episode Welcome to Everyday Conflict!

Click on the link to listen to my first episode: http://tobtr.com/s/10637967. #BlogTalkRadio

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Racism: A By-Product of Colonialism

Globally, pyramids have remained a symbol of hierarchy. Whether one belongs to a family, tribe, village, or government, the pyramid scheme remains to exist. Humans have established rules and hierarchies in cultures and societies for the simple need to keep order. To what extent has this notion resulted in the powerful obtaining and retaining more power at the expense of others who are less fortunate? In the world of fashion, we find that many beautiful women, with femail outer beauty are given the opportunity to display their inner selves through modeling. In such a world, the fashion industry puts forward creativity, uniqueness, and hidden gems through their styles and fabrics, that reflect the attitudes of all those involved in the creation of pieces. A beautiful model despite race or gender wears this piece of fabric with pride. Race is non-existent. Or is it? Recently the fashion industry, notably known and labeled as the “diversity industry” was found to “silence people of colour” (Bouattia, 2018).

Ms. Bouattia, a writer for AlJazeera.com stated in her article that a hijab wearing female Muslim, Ameena Khan was asked to join the French cosmetics company, L’Oreal hair campaign. The campaign focused on L’Oreal’s haircare products. Ms. Khan is a famous blogger who condemned Israel’s actions during the 2014 war on Gaza. Shortly after the discovery of her tweets that occurred over three years ago, Ms. Khan was released from the campaign. More so, L’Oreal had a similar issue in 2017. The French cosmetics company released a female Black trans model, Munroe Bergdorf shortly after the model denounced white supremacy.

Diversity at L’Oreal may not be subjective, but the perception, based upon L’Oreal’s history of releasing diverse individuals who vocalize their opinions on social media are sacked. Ultimately, silencing voices, critical voices, remains to be a historical trend, specifically against individuals who speak against colonialism. Colonialism may be defined as acquiring full or partial political control over another country. The power of colonialism exploits locals, politically, economically and socially; while occupying land with its settlers.

 Is this a violation on free speech or racism? Or both?

Citation:

AlJazeera.com.(2018 January 28). How the ‘diversity industry’ silences people of colour. Retrieved from, http://www.aljazeera.com/indepth/opinion/diversity-industry-silences-people-colour-180127131007232.html

Ikigai: The Japanese Secret to a Long & Healthy Life

I just came across a wonderful book, Ikigai: The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life. The book is written by Hector Garcia and Francesc Miralles. I came across this book as I was seeking to purchase a book that focused on community building, specifically for a friend who is always trying to bring people together. I have to say that this is the best book I have read in a very long time. The authors have discovered that the Japanese believe in a concept of living a happy life based on “small things,” which enables them to appreciate people, cultures, and things.

In the book, the authors conducted a study in the city of Okinawa. They found that the locals are content with living a simple life. This means, eating simple foods, primarily a vegetarian diet. People are pleasant, so much so that they understand each other’s personalities and mood swings. In fact their diet reflects their attitudes. They believe that by eating certain vegetables, chemicals that impact emotional/hormone driven mood swings can be controlled. For example, at the time of the menstrual cycle, women are encouraged to eat foods that keep their hormones balanced. This helps to retain a steady mindset and chemical flow in the body, which impact PH balance.

Another concept that the authors found to be true of the Japanese is that they are able to remain active while aging. They keep their minds active by engaging in outdoor activities, meditating, and reading, which has resulted in reducing stress and living a long life. The average life span is over one hundred years of age.

Reducing stress is conducted by being mindful of our personal habits. The Japanese believe that living on “auto-pilot” can be hazardous to our own health. As we age, stress may increase if there is dissonance in our environments. Change can bring dissonance. Therefore, by engaging in a new activity or learning a new habit every so often will keep the mind active, help reduce stress, and embrace change effectively. Logotherapy, a concept created by Victor Frankl was also introduced in this study. Logotherapy is a type of therapy that encourages individuals to sit up straight and listen to things that are difficult to hear. The purpose of this therapy is to help each individual find reasons to live a happy life.

When I first read about this type of therapy, which I was not taught in school, I realized that being forced to listen to things that we don’t want to hear, helps to break up the auto-pilot mode that most of us operate on, on a daily basis. It helps us understand ourselves and reflect on our personal behaviors. It also helps so remain mindful and conscious about how our behavior impacts others. More importantly, if done correctly, this type of therapy may help each of us reduce stress in our lives, accept change, and retain a youthful mindset everyday by looking towards the future. Engaging our energy to focus on the future is the key to living a healthy mindful life.

I encourage each of you to read this book. It is a fantastic read!

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How Do I Cope with Anger?

Everybody gets angry. But, how do you know if your anger is a real concern? This questionnaire will help you assess your ability to cope with anger and determine whether or not anger management is a problem for you. Please read through each statement, recording the indicated number score for each yes or no response. Your responses should be based on your current temperament.

  1. I am quick to forgive others who have harmed or offended me.

(If answer is yes, give yourself 0 points.)
(If answer is no, give yourself 2 points.)

  1. It takes me a long time to get over being angry.

(If answer is yes, give yourself 2 points.)
(If answer is no, give yourself 0 points.)

  1. I tend to overreact and get angry about little things.

(If answer is yes, give yourself 1 point.)
(If answer is no, give yourself 0 points.)

  1. I have taken out my anger on undeserving others.

(If answer is yes, give yourself 2 points.)
(If answer is no, give yourself 0 points.)

  1. I have retaliated with anger when another driver has cut me off or tailgated me.

(If answer is yes, give yourself 2 points.)
(If answer is no, give yourself 0 points.)

  1. I have said malicious things about others to get back at them when I am angry.

(If answer is yes, give yourself 2 points.)
(If answer is no, give yourself 0 points.)

  1. I remain angry or resentful about something(s) that happened years ago.

(If answer is yes, give yourself 2 points.)
(If answer is no, give yourself 0 points.)

  1. I have an unresolved conflict with a friend or family member.

(If answer is yes, give yourself 1 point.)
(If answer is no, give yourself 0 points.)

  1. I have an unresolved conflict with someone at work.

(If answer is yes, give yourself 1 point.)
(If answer is no, give yourself 0 points.)

  1. When I am angry with someone, I am able to tell him or her why.

(If answer is yes, give yourself 0 points.)
(If answer is no, give yourself 1 point.)

  1. When something happens that makes me angry, I tend to replay the event over and over again
    in my mind.

(If answer is yes, give yourself 2 points.)
(If answer is no, give yourself 0 points.)

  1. When I am angry about something that happens at work, it affects me when I am home.

(If answer is yes, give yourself 1 point.)
(If answer is no, give yourself 0 points.)

  1. I have someone I can talk to when I feel angry or frustrated.

(If answer is yes, give yourself 0 points.)
(If answer is no, give yourself 1 point.)

  1. I often feel regret about how I express my anger.

(If answer is yes, give yourself 2 points.)
(If answer is no, give yourself 0 points.)

Results
Total your score. If your score is:

0 to 3 points: Congratulations! Your score indicates that you are coping well with anger. Keep doing what you are doing. But if you believe you need help, we can help. Schedule an appointment today.

4 to 13 points: Your score indicates that you may be harboring some resentment or have some difficulty in expressing your anger appropriately. Learning more about anger and the effects of stress will help you avoid problems now and in the future. If you are feeling overwhelmed, contact us.

14 to 22 points: Your score indicates you are having a great deal of difficulty coping with your anger. Unresolved or pent-up anger always comes out inappropriately, causing harm to others, and increases stress in our life. When we are highly stressed we often lose perspective, overreact to little things and inappropriately vent anger on those we love. Contact us today and set up an appointment.

Emotional Intelligence & The Law of Attraction

Emotional intelligence is having the ability to understand the emotions of others, while understanding your emotions. How we think, feel, and say attracts a similar response. For example, if we think positively, then we will attract people who are positive. The laws of attraction signifies the impact we have on others when we use our words. It also signifies the impact that we have on ourselves. Positive energy + emotion = law of attraction. What you feel is what you will attract. The following Ted Talk provides an interesting perspective on EI & Laws of Attraction.

Blue Whale- An Online Suicide Game?

Although it is not clear that an online suicide game exists, this game has been linked to suicide, specifically among teenagers. The game began in Russia. According to the Chicago Tribune, “Essentially a dangerous personal obstacle course of 50 daily tasks that include everything from watching horror films to self-mutilation, the game is rumored to be behind unexpected deaths across the globe. But because the challenge plays out on social media platforms like Facebook and Instagram, the reality is hard to prove. In fact, due to the extreme premise alone, some says it’s just an internet hoax invented to frighten parents and other adults.”

The Miami Police Department has created the following video on the challenge, explaining the clues of the game, as well as the end result.

There needs to be awareness on the internet’s impact on teenage suicide. We need to improve our own literacy on social media and help our children. As parents, it is vital to understand what the non-existent “blue whale” game means.

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13 April 2017: John A. Tures, The Observer: How Terrorists Recruit Female Suicide Bombers, LaGrange, GA.

Dr. Tures recently published an article on Dr. Patel’s presentation at the Western Hemisphere for Security and Cooperation (WHINSEC) on female suicide terrorism. Mr. Tures writes, “The women recruited don’t want equality,” she told my audience. “They want escape, and death is that escape. They do so even though Islam forbids suicide. There’s room to misrepresent this, and terrorists exploit this.” Read More.

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30 March 2017: Western Hemisphere for Security and Cooperation, Ft. Benning, GA

Dr. Patel was one of five panelists selected globally to present at the Western Hemisphere of Security Cooperation at Ft. Benning, GA on March 30th. The Symposium focused on Women, Peace, and Security. Dr. Patel’s powerful presentation on the Psychology of Female Violence presented the impact of neuro-cognitive behavior and neuro-psychological elements utilized by terrorist organizations to recruit, train, and retain Islamic females to execute their suicide missions through the process of radicalization. In this presentation, Dr. Patel briefed military personnel,  from nations belonging to the Western Hemisphere, Iraq, and Egypt with an alternative view of women’s suppression, oppression, and suffrage that is a direct result of gender disparity in a male dominated enclave, supported by religion and culture.

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01 March 2017: Lifegiver Podcast: Bullying It’s Not Just Kids Anymore

Dr. Patel was interviewed by Corie Weathers, Founder of Lifegiver, on her expertise of applying conflict management to combat bullying. The interactive interview sheds light for children, adults, and communities on combating bullying through positive interaction, diplomacy, and collaboration. Click on the link to listen to the interview! Bullying